Couple Sends “You’re Not Invited” Cards To Family Members, Assigns Tasks To Invited Guests

A soon-to-be-married couple left a family member taken aback after sharing their decision to send “you are not invited cards” to the people who didn’t make the cut on their wedding guest list. In Reddit’s popular forum, Wedding Shaming, one cousin shared their reaction to the surprising news, explaining that the couple is planning a “small garden wedding” at a location five hours away from where everyone lives and has chosen to keep the guest list small due to their tight budget. Because of their wedding size, the bride and groom were forced to make cuts from their guest list. So, rather than leaving the uninvited bunch without a word, the couple sent out cards. 

“I just found out that the wedding couple are sending ‘cards’ to people that are not invited that they are getting married soon and ‘you are in our hearts on this special day’ BEFORE the wedding,” the Redditor wrote. 

“Their excuse is for the sake of ‘curiosity and thinking of them.’ But what I don’t understand is why send this BEFORE the wedding. It would make more sense AFTER and send it out to them,” they added.

Wedding guest setting up for the Wedding & You are not Invited Cards
byu/joyousfoodie inweddingshaming

What’s more, the Redditor said that guests invited to the wedding would be assigned tasks after the ceremony. Unless you’re in the bridal party, you’ll need to help set up for the reception. “Once the ceremony is done the wedding party will leave to take photos while the GUESTS set up the tables for the reception,” the cousin explained. “I was like what??? They never ASKED if people are willing to do that as if they just dictated people what to do,” they wrote. 

“Where is the respect, etiquette and morals. They said that financially they cant hire people to set up but they had almost 2 years to save and what did they do to save? They went travelling instead of saving for the wedding,” the cousin said. They also wrote that bride and groom assigned their parents errands to take care of on their big day. Additionally, the bride is planning to invite friends to her bridal shower who won’t be invited to her wedding. “Wish me luck on this upcoming wedding,” the original poster finished.

The Reddit post was shared a few days back. Since then, it has accumulated more than hundreds of upvotes. In the comments section, users agreed that the couple’s actions are off-putting. 

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“What they are planning sucks and is rude and that’s reason to not attend. If you do want to go to see family and to see a possible train wreck, make it clear that you aren’t going to help set anything up,” wrote one user. “I am always looking for excuses not to go to a wedding, and this one would be a jackpot,” commented another. 

“I guess the wedding will be smaller than expected because I would definitely send my regrets. Wow – just unbelievable,” expressed a third user. “Depending on if you would like to see the family and are otherwise healthy. Go and setup a few tables. Later when they ask about what happened to their gift, say you thought that was the gift,” suggested another.